Life Lessons – Apology

Posted: June 5, 2015 in About Life

“Sincere apologies are for those that make them, not for those to whom they are made.” ~Greg LeMond

It is entirely true. When you apologize to someone, you put forward a part of yourself to the person along with the gesture that the relationship means more to you than your self-esteem.

However, it is entirely a different matter of how you feel about apologizing. A ‘Sorry’ can never undo the scar you leave by hurting someone. It just gives a Launchpad for you to move forward with the person.

That said, so should one feel good about saying sorry? Many believe that if you don’t feel good about it, the apology will not look genuine.

Now, this is something which I am going to talk about.

Ever since I was a kid and the furthest most my memory can go, my grandma always told me, “It is important to say sorry and mean it once you hurt someone even if it is not entirely your mistake. But, you should never feel good about saying sorry. You should hate saying sorry each time you say it. Only then you can make yourself capable of not hurting anyone at all!

If you feel good or even okay when you say sorry to someone, you will be tempted to feel that it is okay to hurt people because you can always say sorry.”

This is something I have always tried to apply in my life. I hate it when I have to apologize to someone. Anything once broken can never go back to its original state, and sometimes ‘time’ never heals certain wounds.

It is extremely difficult to train oneself not to hurt others, but it is definitely not impossible.

Having mastered all the Puranas, Vedas, Upanishads my grandma had cultivated the ancient wisdom and in an innocent way she made me realize this – Hate it when you say sorry to someone, but also mean it when you say sorry!

Well, I am still not there yet, but yeah one day, sure I am going to make her proud!

The Compliance

Posted: July 26, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

 

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She was not resisting the change. It was a life defining moment for her and yet she was not sure what has to become of her choice.

The choice to accept one’s destiny isn’t always easy. She was a fighter and she could have fought against her destiny. Yet here she was, in her full glory, thinking beyond oblivion, unsure of the future she dawned upon herself and on all she ever cared about.

Looking into the mirror will not be the same anymore. She could now peek into her soul. What was full of love, compassion and calmness was now full of anger, hatred and fear. She had to control it somehow. She wondered if it hadn’t happened to her in the first place, would it still reflect in her soul. Would she still be the same loving person she once was before she accepted the change?

These thoughts were barraging her mind and the resulting pain was excruciating. She was hearing voices she was not supposed to hear. She was seeing things which would drive anyone with sane mind completely crazy. She was feeling the approaching darkness within her with more remorse than ever.

She had to stay strong now. She had to do what she must.

The ‘bite’ was not only changing her body, it was changing her entire existence. She was not repelling the bite. She told herself, it was a gift.

She thought in her mind, with full determination, she will become the werewolf she was destined to be!

 

It was just a rare occasion when sleep eluded me that night and I was fully awake at 4 am! I decided to take a walk inside our garden.

I heard a noise inside the bushes which kind of gave me a chill for sure! After a while there it was! A big fat mongoose came out of the bushes and crossed the pavement right in front of me. A great good luck was definitely in store for me that day, maybe that’s what I thought. In this part of India where a cat crossing your path is considered to bring ill luck, a mongoose crossing your path is considered to bring super good luck!

The sight of the big fat mongoose made me nostalgic of the days when I used to spend my summer holidays at my grandfather’s place. He had lots of mongooses as pets. They used to roam freely inside the house. There was this one mongoose in particular which was very fond of me. Or rather I was very fond of him. Grandpa had named him Sashi as he was born on a full moon night.

Sashi was a very shy mongoose which is quite opposite to the behavior of the species. A little crowd of strangers in the house and he won’t come out in the open. It took a great deal of pain for my grandma to fetch him and feed him. But whenever I would visit, he would not just let go of me. He would play with me, climb on my shoulders and head and then would jump off to the ground; then repeat the act.

He would sleep resting his head on my palm and draping his long tail around my wrist. As a child I was totally in love with him. That’s why I was devastated the day I heard the news.

I was told that one day he had gone into the forest and never came back. Grandpa and his servants searched a lot for him without any luck. I could not eat properly for days. His images would haunt me in my dreams as I always wondered what happened to him after all.

As it has always been with us humans to get attached to our pets, mourn them when they leave and move on. But Sashi was a very special friend and after his departure I could not bond with any other mongoose at my Grandpa’s place ever.

I grew up and life made me quite busy and I forgot Sashi for quite a long time. However, nostalgia is a very fascinating phenomenon. At every sight of any mongoose, all my thoughts get radially focused on Sashi and only Sashi!

I just sincerely wish Rabbit Holes were true and in some parallel universe Sashi met his mate, had lots of children and living happily!

Slapster!

Posted: June 5, 2014 in Uncategorized
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He waited impatiently for the rain to stop. He had to get home in time for his daughter’s birthday party. He was cursing himself for not listening to his wife when she suggested taking the car instead of his bike. And rain in the month of February is obviously not what you expect! Just when the passion of rain lessened and he was about to leave the outlet where he had taken shelter, he saw something familiar.

She entered the outlet in such a hurry that it seemed she had forgotten something there. He kept thinking where had he seen this beautiful face before, and then it came as a lightning strike to him. He perfectly could now remember this face and thinking of that gave him Goosebumps. 

This is the sole woman in the whole world who had slapped him left and right once. It was mathematics class and the teacher had asked them to calculate something which he had got right and she had got wrong. So the teacher asked him to twist her ears once and tell her the right answer. 

He got up from my seat happily and twisted her both ears and slapped her (because he had an idea that this is a complete procedure- twisting ears and slapping). But the teacher had not asked this. So she asked the girl to twist his ears. But the girl also slapped him (maybe she also thought slapping completes twisting of ears).  

Then the teacher explained ‘you should learn to do what you are asked exactly to do by your superiors’. Hhuh! 

But as he returned back from his thoughts, she had already left. When he narrated the whole incident to his wife and kids he didn’t know why he could not help but omit the ‘she’ part of it. 

He told them he was slapped by a guy someday back at school.

The Thing

Posted: June 4, 2014 in Uncategorized
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“Hey! S21 come here I have found something!” shouted S76 anxiously.

“What is it? I am in middle of analyzing something. Whatever you want me to see better be substantial.”

S21 moved sluggishly to the spot where S76 was standing. They were at a small crater and S76 had found something while digging the ground to look for Nitrogen bubbles.

“Don’t touch it!!! It looks like a bomb!” shrieked S21 nervously.

S76 picked it from the crater surface and said, “No it is not a bomb, see it shines in starlight.”

S21 was surprised, the ‘thing’ was alien to him, and he asked S76 to hand it over so that he could look.

“No!!! I am not giving it to you, it is ‘mine’!!” shouted S76 anticipating S21’s advance.

“Give it to me…”

“No…”

In the fight for the ‘thing’ it fell and smashed!

The glass broke and the ‘thing’ came out of its cage.

Both of them were startled by the act and wanted to pick it up, but as soon as they tried to reach for it, it vanished.

Not something magical, but the machines in control of planet-earth failed to understand the cosmic phenomenon called ‘evaporation’. It had taken away the last drop of water from the little glass flask which was fossilized inside the crater for thousands of years.

 And ‘the thing’ did not return to earth through ‘condensation’!

It is time for us to think when still the phenomenon permits itself to return the evaporated or ‘taken’ water to our planet.

It is not going to be the same soon…Let’s not allow what we consider ‘free’ to convert into the ‘thing’.

Save Water…Save the Future…

Eleven Minutes

Posted: June 3, 2014 in Uncategorized
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“No No No No… This shouldn’t have happened!” shrieked Rajiv in horror watching Veena motionless  and soaked in blood on the road. He rushed to her and checked her pulse, looked upon her nose and mouth for breathing, checked her heartbeat, but all in vain. She was gone.

 

****************11 minutes ago********************

 

“Daddy, are we going home?” asked Mili enthusiastically.

“Yes dear, you are perfectly alright. The doctors said your cancer diminished miraculously and they won’t be operating on you”, answered her worried father in a tone of assured intonation.

Rajiv was watching all this from a distance when he felt the old and pale hand on his shoulders. The old woman was back and was looking at him.

“Are you happy now son? You got what you wanted”.

“Yeah I guess. I could do some happiness now. So this is it? It’s over?”

“What do you think??? Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!”, laughed the old lady and could not be seen the next moment.

***************2 hours ago*****************

Rajiv had a injury in his hand and had come to the hospital for routine checkup. There he had met nurse Veena and had liked her since he saw her. Veena was a silent, introvert and a God fearing woman who treated serving people at the hospital as her utter happiness gathering activity. Gradually from his visits to the hospital, they had grown close.

But today was different, in spite of repeated efforts of calling her, he couldn’t meet her. Her schedule was tight. So he thought of visiting the pediatric ward in order to spend some time with the sick children and give Veena a surprise visit.  Mili was the most vibrant and energetic of them all. It was a pity she had terminal brain cancer and will undergo her final surgery in an hour.

But Rajiv somehow overheard the conversation of Mili’s doctors. She had no chance of surviving the surgery and post surgery trauma. She was only 7 years old and this was the end for her. Rajiv was upset and couldn’t believe why this had to happen to good and innocent souls like Mili. Consciously or unconsciously he vehemently complained to God regarding this injustice.

“Do you want to save the girl?”, asked a frail and old woman who Rajiv didn’t remember seeing before on the floor.

“What? Are you talking to me?”

“Yes. I see you are disturbed looking at the fate of that girl. Do you want to save her?”

“Of course I do if I could.”

“Ohh Son, yes you can! Just say me ‘YES’ or ‘NO’”

“Yes!!! Please!!!”

“Then another soul must be chosen in her place. There is a rich old man who is very sick and his family is bringing him here. Do you want him to be taken instead of this girl?”

“Considering the fact that the old man has lived his life enough and if you want a trade, then yes!!”

“Alright! Your girl is saved. Look at her. The doctors are discovering shrink in the cancer!”

Rajiv rushed to Mili and got the news of her being alright and not getting operated today.

“Are you happy now son? You got what you wanted”.

“Yeah I guess. I could do some happiness now. So this is it? It’s over?”

“What do you think??? Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!” laughed the old lady and could not be seen the next moment.

*********************************now***************************************

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a while. Then noise of people moving and shouting woke him up. Something was wrong! Why was everyone running outside?

“Excuse me sister. What has happened?” he asked a nurse he met on the way.

“A nurse is killed by a speeding ambulance just few blocks away from the hospital. One surgery she was to attend got cancelled today due to shrinkage of cancer of a girl. The ambulance was speeding because an old man was dying and his son had asked the driver to reach here as soon as possible. Poor girl, she had to die”.

 

 

I have witnessed many random acts of kindness, both small and big in nature; but there is one specific incident which has swayed me till today. It was a hot summer afternoon in 2008. I was on my way with my brother to visit my grandparents. We had stopped at a roadside dhaba on NH-5 for lunch.

We had ordered the food and I was cleaning my face at the wash basin. I observed every vehicle which was passing by the road used to stop at a particular point, then slowly taking a detour as if avoiding an obstacle on the road and move ahead in normal speed. This raised my curiosity and I moved to a place inside the dhaba where I could get a better view of the road.

As I anticipated there was indeed an obstacle on the road albeit it was breathing heavily. It was a calf and it was bleeding from its front right leg. A speeding vehicle on the highway must have hit the poor creature while it was crossing the road. Nevertheless, I observed it was trying to get up but under immense pain it was not able to do so, may be!

All vehicles were slowing down there, and moving ahead. Just when my brother called out for me to get back inside as food was served, I saw a Volkswagen went past the injured calf. However it moved to extreme left of the road and stopped. The guy who was driving came out. He was young, must be in his twenties.

He reached where the calf was sitting and slowly sat down on his knees and started touching its injured leg. Clearly, he was examining the wound. Then he went back to his car and came back with a bag, must be the first aid kit. He was blocking my view so I couldn’t see what he was doing precisely, but I was sure he was doing something which many would not do and which many did not do also.

When he was done, he stood up and stretched his hands and shoulders. I could see a clear bandage on the calf’s leg. He helped the calf get up, carried it to the side of the road to a tree shade and helped the calf sit down. He again hurried towards his car and came back with a bottle of water.

The calf looked better after drinking some water. I thought he would leave as he was done with what he could have done. But I was wrong, he was waiting near his car, closely observing the calf. After sometime when the calf gathered its strength to walk and started moving although limping, he got inside his car and drove off.

I got back and tried to have my food.